What does it say about a person if they seek therapy?
From my vantage point it means that they care enough about themselves to ask for help. Or they are curious about some part of themselves that they’d like to explore. Or they just want to get to know themselves better. But I know that my take on why people seek therapy isn’t necessarily the first thing that pops into someone’s mind when they or someone they know is considering counseling. Instead, sometimes it’s:
“Does going to therapy mean I’m crazy?”
And, in fact, sometimes I’m asked that question by new clients. They ask it as a joke but I suspect there is a certain amount of concern behind the question. My guess is that they wonder if they are outside the bounds of “normal” by seeking therapy.
Recently a client who has made terrific progress toward his goals commented that he has been pleasantly surprised at how very normal coming to therapy now seems to him. He noted that, prior to starting therapy, he had concerns about the implications of seeking therapy. But having experienced therapy, he has come to see it as something that can provide insights, understanding, and tools to manage one’s concerns, and that it’s something that just about everyone can benefit from at some point in their lives.
I couldn’t agree more. But we all get scared by the unknown, and therapy, for a lot of folks, is a big unknown. No doubt they have some images in their minds of what it might mean to visit with a therapist— 1) laying on a couch, therapist sitting behind them with notebook in hand, mining their psyche; 2) Being interrogated and “made” to talk about difficult things (cue the bright lights); 3) Talking with someone they aren’t comfortable with and/or feeling judged by the therapist.
What’s likely even more scary, however, is what potential clients think therapy implies about them. What if it means they are unbalanced? Unable to handle life’s difficulties? Weak? Unhinged?
Well, what if?
Honestly, don’t we all have times when we feel this way? First of all, if you’re in a place in your life when any of those statements describe you, it would be a good idea to get some help, right? It would also be a good time to remember that all of those states of being tend to be temporary and are often a reflection of what we’re dealing with in our lives at the time.
What else brings people into therapy? Sometimes people pursue therapy because they’ve been struggling with a problem for a long time and they would really like to handle it and make it go away once and for all. Sometimes folks seek counseling because they notice a pattern of behavior in their lives that is causing difficulties and they want to figure it out so they can be happier. Sometimes people get therapy because they are struggling in their relationships and they want to understand the disconnect and fix the problem. I could go on—there are lots and lots of reasons people pursue therapy.
Do any of these reasons seem “crazy”?
And let’s not forget this well-accepted definition of insanity: “…Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.”
So, it seems to me that seeking therapy makes one the opposite of “crazy.” People who engage in therapy are people seeking change so that they will, in fact, make positive changes in their lives. I might be a little biased, but that, to me, sounds like really smart and healthy behavior.
If you would like to schedule an appointment with Dr. Jana Drew, please call her at 512-960-5265 or contact her here. Dr. Drew provides free 30-minute consultations and would welcome the opportunity to work with you.