When anxiety and worry strike they can hit hard and refuse to go away. It’s helpful to have a few techniques that you can use to at least give you a break from the rumination. These aren’t techniques that will get to the bottom of the anxiety but they can at least give you a foothold when it feels like you’re at wit’s end. Not all of these techniques will work for everyone, but give as many as you can a try to discover which work the best for you. And if the worry isn’t going away and is disrupting your life, please consider exploring additional treatment options. There are effective therapies that can turn anxiety around and move you toward the life you want.
1. Distraction.
This may be the easiest way to make some immediate progress in moving past the worries that are consuming your day. When we’re anxious we have a tendency to sit with our worries, focusing on them, analyzing them, asking ourselves “what if” and doing the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” dance. We can go around and around in circles, reviewing the same information over and over again.
Distracting yourself is an effective way to get off of that merry-go-round. Go find something else to do! It’s that simple. Leave the house and go grocery shopping or to the mall. Do some outside chores. Call a friend and talk about the news, the weather or plans to go out but don’t talk about your anxieties! Go for a walk, listen to music, or throw yourself into a craft project. Do anything that will engage your mind so thoroughly that there is no energy left for worrying.
Consider this: have you ever noticed that when you have something that is unequivocally anxiety-provoking and requires immediate problem-solving (a relative in the hospital, your child has the flu, your toilet is overflowing), those other, more optional worries, fade to the background? What had been the source of significant worry yesterday gets moved to the back burner because you have something of greater concern today. If that’s the case, why not choose to go ahead and move it to the back burner through a pleasant and/or productive distraction and enjoy the break from worry?
2. Deep Breathing.
Anxiety can include panicky feelings and symptoms including rapid heartbeat, trembling, and sweating. Deep breathing helps put the brakes on anxiety by calming these symptoms and helping your body and mind to relax and re-group. This is a straightforward technique in which you breathe in slowly and deeply, pulling air deeply into your lungs (so that your stomach seems to expand and push out), hold that deep breath for a moment, and then exhale slowly. Repeat this process several times, until you notice your symptoms beginning to fade. The wonderful thing about deep breathing is that it’s inconspicuous, portable, and can be done anywhere and anytime that anxiety strikes. If you practice this skill several times a day (not just in response to an anxiety spike) you will help to reduce your overall anxiety level, resulting in better coping should a new anxiety emerge.
3. Mindfulness.
Use mindfulness to notice what is actually happening to you in this moment of anxiety. If you already practice mindfulness this will be an easier transition to begin to make. If you aren’t familiar with what mindfulness is and would like to learn, please listen to my podcast here. Very briefly, mindfulness is the practice of staying in the moment. The advantage of staying in the moment is that it allows us to stay focused on what is happening now, not what might happen in the future or worrying about what happened in the past. When we’re in a panicky, anxious period, we are in the midst of a storm; all we see around us is the wind whipping things about, trees blowing, leaves swirling and general chaos. We can feel helpless and at the mercy of our anxiety. When we step out of the storm and watch it from a bit of distance we are better able to figure out what we need to do to slow or stop the storm in us and return to calm. That ability to watch ourselves doing whatever it is we’re doing is part of mindfulness. It’s taking a step outside of yourself to see what you’re doing. Usually at this point clients will say “But there is no way that I can do that when I’m so anxious!” And initially that may be true. Mindfulness is a skill that we develop over time. So initially you may think after an anxiety attack, “I should have used mindfulness. If I had, I would have realized faster what was going on inside of me and been able to slow it down or stop it.” And then soon you’ll realize during the anxiety attack, “Hey, wait a minute. I see what this is—I’m letting my mind get me all worked up so I’m worrying about the future when I need to stay present in the here and now.” And then there will come a day when you experience the beginning of anxiety and you’ll say, “If I stay with this anxious thought about the future I’m going to get triggered right into an anxiety attack. I’m going to distract myself from this.” You may even see the anxiety coming— “OK, I just took a big test and usually after a test I get anxious about what the results will be, so what can I do right now so I don’t even start to go there? Hmmm, maybe that new comedy that just opened at the movies…”
4. Acceptance.
Decide not to judge or fight the anxiety and instead just accept it for what it is. Accepting it doesn’t mean you like it. It just means that you accept that, for whatever reason, your brain likes to create anxious thoughts to try and torment you. But—and here’s the good part—you can choose to just notice the thoughts and then let them go. So rather than tangling with them you, once again, take a step back (as described above in mindfulness), and notice “Wow, I’m having a lot of worries today. My brain is working overtime coming up with all of these unhelpful and inaccurate thoughts. This will eventually go away if I don’t get into a struggle with this stuff.” And then you get back to doing whatever it is you want to be doing. You may have to repeat this several times as the thoughts keep intruding, but that’s ok. It’s way better than getting into a fight with the anxious thoughts!
5. Self-Talk.
Use positive self-talk to remind yourself that negative thoughts are likely untrue or exaggerated, and that you are a strong and resilient person. Consider the facts at hand and whether your conclusions are actually realistic or if your brain is just causing trouble by coming up with these anxious ideas of what might happen. Ask yourself if the worries are probable or just possible? Ask am I trying to read someone else’s mind and making assumptions of what they are thinking about me or this situation? Am I jumping to conclusions? Am I forgetting important parts of the situation and just concentrating on the negative stuff? Have a serious talk with yourself about your inner strengths and about your brain’s tendency to wreak havoc on you.
6. Try exercise.
“According to some studies, regular exercise works as well as medication for some people to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, and the effects can be long lasting. One vigorous exercise session can help alleviate symptoms for hours, and a regular schedule may significantly reduce them over time,” reports the Anxiety and Depression Association of America website. The association does also note that other studies have shown that exercise doesn’t work to reduce anxiety symptoms for all sufferers but does still have physical benefits.
7. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR).
PMR is not a technique that is likely to be helpful when you are at the height of anxiety but it can be a good form of distraction when you need a break from anxious thoughts. And, like deep breathing, if practiced routinely will help to lower your overall stress level. PMR was developed in the 1930s by Edmund Jacobson, a doctor who believed “an anxious mind cannot exist in a relaxed body.” He conducted research that showed that by tightening and relaxing a muscle, it becomes more relaxed than prior to tightening it. Stress and anxiety are associated with muscle tension (in fact muscle tension is among the diagnostic criteria for generalized anxiety disorder); relaxing our muscles has been shown to produce a number of positive benefits, including decreased stress and anxiety and improvements in insomnia.
So how do you do PMR? There are scripts and videos on the internet that can walk you through what is a relatively simple process. The basic idea is that you are tightening and relaxing different muscle groups in your body in a progressive manner, usually starting with your feet. You create tension in these muscle groups by tightening the muscles, and then after noticing the muscle tension, you slowly relax the muscle, noticing now what a relaxed muscle feels like. As you progress through your body you become increasingly relaxed overall. Following is a typical script for PMR. (Please note that I was unable to locate the author of this script. My apologies to the author for being unable at this time to give credit.) Please do be careful not to over-tighten your muscles or tighten muscles that are already sore; PMR should never hurt. If you need to skip a muscle group you can just think about the muscle and see if you can relax it somewhat without tightening it first. Following is the script, which can also be found here.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation Script
Find yourself a quiet place to relax. Turn off your phone and dim the lights. This is your time...a time for complete and utter relaxation.
For this relaxation, you can either sit or lie down. Just make sure that you are warm enough, and that you are comfortable. Let your hands rest loosely in your lap, or by your side. Now close your eyes.
Become aware of your breathing, and notice how your abdomen rises and falls with each breath...
Now take a long slow deep breath in through your nose, all the way down into your stomach.
Hold the breath for just a moment, and then exhale through your mouth. Allow your breath to carry away all stress and tension as the air floods out of your lungs.
Take another slow breath in through your nose. Fill your lungs completely. Hold it for a moment...and release the breath through your mouth. Empty your lungs completely.
Take a third deep breath in. Hold it for a moment, and then let it go.
Feel that your body has already undergone a change. The tension in your body has begun to loosen and subside.
Now let your breathing rhythm return to normal...and relax....
During this relaxation I will ask you to tense various muscles throughout your body. Please do this without straining. You do not need to exert yourself, just contract each muscle firmly but gently as you breathe in. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, you can simply relax and breathe normally.
Bring your awareness to your feet and toes. Breathe in deeply through your nose, and as you do, gradually curl your toes down and tense the muscles in the soles of your feet. Hold your breath for just a few seconds and then release the muscles in your feet as you breathe out. Feel the tension in your feet wash away as you exhale. Notice how different your feet feel when tensed and when they are relaxed.
Take another deep breath in again, tense the muscles in the soles of your feet and hold this position for a few seconds.
Now release. Feel yourself relaxing more and more deeply with each breath. Your whole body is becoming heavier, softer and more relaxed as each moment passes.
Now bring your awareness to your lower legs...to your calf muscles. As you draw in a nice deep breath, point your toes up towards your knees and tighten these muscles. Hold for just a moment, and then let those muscles go limp as you exhale.
Once again, draw in a deep breath...and tighten your calf muscles. Hold for a few seconds, and then let it all go. Feel your muscles relax, and feel the tension washing away with your out-breath.
In a moment you will tense the muscles in the front of your thighs. If you are lying down, you can do this by trying to straighten your legs. You’ll feel the muscles pulling your kneecap upwards. If you are seated, you can tense these muscles by pushing your heels down onto the floor.
Take a deep breath in, and tense the muscles in your thighs. Hold for just a moment, and then release everything. As you do this, the blood flow to your muscles increases, and you may notice a warm tingling sensation. Enjoy this feeling of soothing relaxation in your thighs.
Again, breathe in deeply and tighten your thigh muscles. Hold for a moment. Now release. Focus on letting your muscles go limp and loose.
Draw in a nice deep breath and gradually tighten the muscles in your buttocks. Hold this contraction for a few seconds, and then release your breath. Feel the tension leaving your muscles. Feel them relaxing completely.
Once more, breathe in deeply and tighten the muscles in your buttocks. Hold for a moment. Now release them. You are becoming more and more deeply relaxed.
Take another breath, and this time, gradually tighten all the muscles in your legs, from your feet to your buttocks. Do this in whatever way feels natural and comfortable to you. Hold it...and now release all these large strong muscles. Enjoy the sensation of release as you become even more deeply relaxed.
Now bring your awareness to your stomach. Draw in a nice deep breath and then tighten these muscles. Imagine you are trying to touch your belly button to your spine. Now release your breath and let your muscles relax. Notice the sensation of relief that comes from letting go.
Once again, draw in a deep breath and then tighten your stomach muscles. Hold for a few seconds... and then let them relax as you exhale and release all tension.
Bring your awareness to the muscles in your back. As you slowly breathe in, arch your back slightly and tighten these muscles....Now release your breath and let your muscles relax.
Again, draw in a deep breath and then tighten your back muscles. Hold for a few seconds...and then let them relax and release.
Now give your attention to your shoulder muscles and the muscles in your neck. As you slowly draw in a nice deep breath, pull your shoulders up towards your ears and squeeze these muscles firmly. Now breathe out completely, and allow your contracted muscles to go loose and limp.
Again, pull your shoulders up towards your ears and squeeze these muscles firmly.
Now feel the tension subside as you relax and breathe out.
Feel the heaviness in your body now. Enjoy the feeling. Feel yourself becoming heavier and heavier. Feel yourself becoming more and more deeply relaxed.
You are calm, secure, at peace.
Now it’s time to let go of all the tension in your arms and hands. Let’s start with your upper arms.
As you breathe in, raise your wrists towards your shoulders and tighten the muscles in your upper arms. Hold that breath and that contraction for just a moment...and then gently lower your arms and breathe all the way out. You may feel a warm, burning sensation in your muscles when you tighten them. Feel how relaxing it is to release that tightness and to breathe away all tension.
As you curl your upper arms again, tighten the muscles as you breathe in. Breathe in deeply. Now relax your arms and breathe out.
Now bring your awareness to your forearms. As you breathe in, curl your hands inwards as though you are trying to touch the inside of your elbows with your fingertips. Now feel the tension subside as you relax and breathe out.
Again, take a deep breath in, and tighten the muscles in your forearms. Hold it for a moment, and then release them. Feel the tension washing away.
Now, take another breath in and tightly clench your fists. When you have finished breathing in, hold for just a few seconds, and then release. Notice any feelings of buzzing or throbbing. Your hands are becoming very soft and relaxed.
Take another deep breath in and clench your fists again. Hold for just a few seconds, and then release. Let your fingers go limp.
Your arms and hands are feeling heavy and relaxed.
Take a couple of nice long slow breaths now, and just relax. Feel yourself slipping even deeper into a state of complete rest.
Now tighten the muscles in your face by squeezing your eyes shut and clenching your lips together. As you do, breathe in fully. Hold it...now breathe out and relax all your facial muscles.
Feel your face softening.
Once more, breathe in deeply while you scrunch the muscles in your eyes and lips....and release.
Now bring your awareness to the muscles in your jaw. Take a deep breath in, and then open your mouth as wide as you can. Feel your jaw muscles stretching and tightening. Now exhale and allow your mouth to gently close.
Again, fill your lungs with air and then open your mouth wide. Now let your mouth relax and let your breath flood all the way out.
You are now completely relaxed from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.
Please take a few more minutes to rest. Relax. Listen to the sound of your breathing and enjoy the lovely, warm sensation of physical relaxation. If you have the time, feel free to fall asleep. You will wake feeling completely rejuvenated and relaxed.
If you would like to discuss these techniques or treatment for anxiety, please call me, Dr. Jana Drew, at 512-960-9265 or contact me here. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss your concerns with you.